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[21 May 2004|10:28pm]
just letting you all know my new username is brightredpaint so that's my new journal. its friends only comment to be added.
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[13 May 2004|06:02pm]
riskyCollapse )
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[12 May 2004|08:26pm]
love_yourselfCollapse )
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this is life. [05 May 2004|05:31pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Things suck lately... this friend and i got in a huge fight a like a month ago and she's the one who's all pissed at me and doesn't want to be friends and here she is talking to me like everything is ok all of a sudden. No! Nothing is ok. I dont want to get hurt again like she always does. fuck.... this is fucking stupid... she talks to me and i wrote her an email here is what it said

I don't know how to say this *******, so I'm going to say it clear and to the point i suppose without making something big... if you don't want to be friends with me anymore, why the talk all of a sudden? it's nice i admit it... i'll admit anything but i just need to know the truth. is this just some game that will be lost in the end? And once again i'll be forgotten about getting hurt? I'm just trying to save myself from other losses that could come ahead. So tell me the truth, maybe not friend to friend, but human to human. Thanks for hearing me.


caitlin.

im fuckin done... i don't know what to do anymore because frankly i dont want to talk to her... if this is some fucking game she's playing then i obviously lost because this is getting on my nerves. she doesn't admit anything to anyone if shes wrong about something. she admits it maybe 10 years later when no one really cares anymore so it's not that big of a deal...

and everyone except me and my other friend are going to prom... i feel like a dork saying this because everyone scolds me when i talk about it but it sucks not having a boyfriend when everyone around you talks about it constantly... no body like likes me... i mean sometimes i can't blame them... who would want to be seen with an overweight girl anyway right? Who's got an amazing personality but tht doesn't matter it's all about looks isn't it? Yeah that's what I thought bitches....
I can't find anybody. I understand there are bigger fish in the sea but how can i find them if i haven't found my first yet?
i get bummed easily and just fucking pissed off!! Why did i have to be born with a fucking tumor man!! it fucking ruined my life!!!!!!!I HATE THIS!!! I CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST ALL OF A SUDDEN I CANT JUST SAY OK FUCKING JESUS CHRIST CHANGE MY LIFE! I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THERE IS A FUCKING GOD ANYMORE...THE WAY EVERYONE SUFFERS IN LIFE ISN'T MUCH PROOF TO ME ANYMORE!! Fuck.

i fucking hate this... i hate being a whiner i hate being what i am right now but i can't help it! I never rant about this shit like i used to. it's serious now not like oh i wish i wish i wish... I WANT! Fuckin a. The way everyone talks about having a fucking boyfriend makes it seem to great but love doesn't last forever why can't anyone admit tht to themselves? Oh yeah because love is blind.
why can't people be accepting for a change? oh yeah i go to school and don't have a life anymore... even i did it wouldn't be a very good one.
Fuck this.... it's all a bunch of bull shit. i wish a girl even would like me. im bisexual and i wish that someone my own sex would just say hey i really like you but oh yeah i forgot i go to FM the most homophobic school in the fucking world.

Oh yeah i forgot, this is life.

6 comments|post comment

yet again another survey to kill some time [02 May 2004|04:52pm]
yayCollapse )
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[02 May 2004|03:32pm]
Post a memory of me in the comments. It can be anything you want.
Then post this to your journal and see what people remember of you.
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